The Business of Being Dad with Rob Rohde
The Business of Being Dad podcast is the go-to resource for single fathers, seamlessly blending business and leadership principles with the emotional aspects of fatherhood.
Host and Single Father coach, Rob Rohde, empowers men to prioritize personal growth, build deeper connections, and find balance between personal success and family relationships.
Together, let's embark on a journey to create meaningful lives and create stronger bonds with our children, one episode at a time.
The Business of Being Dad with Rob Rohde
#049: Forget Work-Life Balance: Try This Instead
Host Rob Rohde challenges the traditional notion of work-life balance, advocating instead for a more intentional approach to managing priorities and resources as single fathers.
Overview:
Rob explores the concept of work-life balance, discussing its implications for single fathers and why the traditional approach may not be suitable. He shares insights on transitioning from seeking balance to embracing intentional imbalance and work-life integration.
Key Highlights:
- Reframing Work-Life Balance: Rob challenges the idea of striving for perfect equilibrium between work and personal life, emphasizing the uniqueness of single fatherhood and the need for a different mindset.
- Work-Life Integration: He discusses shifting from compartmentalizing work and personal life to integrating them as complementary aspects, each influencing the other positively.
- Identifying Priorities: Rob encourages single fathers to clarify their single top priority and align their focus and energy accordingly, leveraging systems and boundaries to support their objectives.
- Establishing Boundaries: He emphasizes the importance of setting clear boundaries, particularly around time and energy, and shares practical strategies for protecting and optimizing resources.
- Embracing Intentional Imbalance: Drawing inspiration from Gary Keller's "The One Thing," Rob encourages listeners to embrace intentional imbalance by focusing on what truly matters most in the present moment.
What to Expect:
Listeners can expect to gain a fresh perspective on work-life integration as single fathers, learning practical strategies for prioritizing and managing their time and energy more effectively to align with their current priorities and needs.
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You are listening to the Business of being Dad. Get ready as we delve into the world of fatherhood, leadership and legacy. I'm Rob Rohde, your humble host and fellow single father, and I'm so excited you're here to join us. This podcast was intentionally designed for you, men who believe they're destined for greatness, those who never settle for excuses but instead take meaningful action, and individuals who reject the notion of being ordinary. We're here for the ones who understand that being a phenomenal leader goes hand in hand with being an exceptional father. Why? Because we believe in you. We believe you hold the power to shape your identity as a man, a father and a leader. We believe you are the architect of your future and you get to determine the impact and legacy you'll leave behind. So get ready to explore the depths of personal growth, strengthen family bonds and create a legacy that resonates through time. Together, we'll rise, inspire and change. Let's get started Well. Hello everyone. This is episode 49 of the Business of being Dad, the podcast dedicated to help single fathers lead their families with impact and find fulfillment in every aspect of their lives. I'm your host, rob Brody, and I am here as a single father myself, as a single father who truly understands the unique challenges that we face, and I'm here to provide you with inspiration, support and practical guidance designed to help you thrive in your life as a single father. So welcome, thank you for being here today. I am excited to jump into this conversation with you. Today, we're diving into a topic that we have all heard plenty about over the last few years the topic of work-life balance. But hold on, because we are not just going to talk about the traditional approach to balance. We're going to actually challenge the status quo and explore a different perspective, a perspective that's more about being intentional and purposeful with our decisions and, in particular, the decisions on how we choose to spend our finite resources, such as time, energy and focus, and so, really, we are going to be talking about embracing the imbalance and really what we should be striving for instead of work-life balance. So, if you're ready, let's go.
Speaker 1:So, when we think of work-life balance, what pops into your mind? What do you typically think about? If you're anything like me and really for most people, we think about juggling work and personal life. Maybe we think about the struggle between work and family, and we think about that goal to find that perfect equilibrium between the two. Maybe it means having equal time between your work and your family life, or maybe you think about it differently and you just think in terms of wanting to be successful in both aspects of your life. Or maybe you think about it differently and you just think in terms of wanting to be successful in both aspects of your life.
Speaker 1:The truth is, though, for most of us, we really don't have a great idea what work-life balance actually looks like, so I'm not sure how we would know if we actually got there. However, we are a little more clear on what a poor work-life balance means. When we think of poor work-life balance, we think about not having enough time to do the things that we want to do. There's usually a correlation between work-life balance and our happiness, and often the work side of this equation gets a bad rap. When we think of a lack of balance, we almost always think of working too much and we blame our job for our unhappiness. But really, regardless of how you view work-life balance, here's the thing For us as single fathers, that traditional approach doesn't work. We have unique challenges, we have unique responsibilities, and so because of that, we need to take a different mindset into this. Let's face it if we were honest with ourselves and we took a look back at the past, at the times when we have really tried to balance everything, it left us feeling overwhelmed or maybe even burnt out, and so, really, that's what I'm here to tell you today. I'm here to tell you that it is okay to let go of that idea, it is okay to just ignore the concept of work-life balance and instead we're going to focus on being intentional with our time and our resources and accepting that imbalance is a natural part of our life. So where does this perspective come from? In full honesty, I simply believe that work-life balance is a myth. I do not think that it is truly attainable and I especially don't think that it's something we should be striving for.
Speaker 1:As single fathers single fathers, in particular, who are doing this on their own I spent years and years trying to figure out how to kind of balance my career and balance family, and balance my own self-care or my own personal growth, and obviously it wasn't easy, and for a while, I felt like I was constantly failing in that aspect, that I was trying to keep everything in this perfect rhythm, this rhythm that I can never attain, and over time, I just had this realization, this realization that perfect balance is an illusion, it's a goal that was impossible to achieve, and so instead I started to shift my mindset. I started to first think in terms of myself and my family as being like this whole unit and take this more of a holistic approach to my overall happiness and overall success, and I started transitioning from this concept of work-life balance to more of a work-life integration where there weren't two separate kind of competing aspects, but instead they were two parts of me, two parts of my family, two aspects of my life that needed to figure out how to work in conjunction with each other, and this recognition that when I was successful in one of those aspects of my life, it clearly ran over into the other part of my life as well. So, for instance, if I was having a good day at work or if I was reaching success in my career, it absolutely translated to my home life. I brought more energy, I had this greater sense of purpose and fulfillment, and that translated into me being a better father. And, on the other hand, if I was really kind of crushing it at home or the opposite, I took that attitude with me into the workplace as well. And so clearly these were not two separate parts of my life, but they were two overlapping, integrated pieces, and so that's how it started, but it didn't end there.
Speaker 1:So I also took issue with the implied fact that all aspects of my life are equally important, and they clearly are not. And, to take that a step further, there will be different times in my life when a certain aspect will be a higher level of priority than the others, and that will constantly be shifting over time. So instead, I began to embrace the idea of being intentional with my time and my priorities and focusing on what truly mattered to me, and my family in particular, during the specific seasons of my life. So let's take a look at some practical strategies to take a look at what this actually looks like in day-to-day life. So I believe the first step is becoming crystal clear on your single top priority, and so that starts with taking some time to just again take a look at this specific stage of life that you are in and identify what you believe is most important to you right now. Maybe it's your career, maybe it's your kids, maybe it's your own personal health or your own personal well-being, but once you've identified what is the highest priority to you right now, then it allows you to shift your focus and shift your energy and make sure that you have time set aside to address that specific area.
Speaker 1:So, number two create systems, processes and workflows to support your top priority. This is where the business of being dad methodology really shines and really can be used to leverage your success. So the key here is to take a look at the skills and systems that you already have, the ones that you already are using every day in your job, and look at how you can modify those or adjust those if necessary, in order to set up your life in a way that allows you to focus on your single top priority. And it could be as simple as setting up a family calendar that really helps keep you organized, or it could be as simple as making an adjustment to your morning routine in order to focus in on your top goal. But look for ways to streamline your approach so that you become more efficient, decrease friction and make it easier to focus in on your top responsibilities.
Speaker 1:And then number three is to establish clear boundaries, and, in particular, this starts with time. It starts with protecting your time, but also your energy, by setting some clear boundaries. If you're really trying to focus in on your career at this stage of your life, then maybe you need to set some boundaries around your personal life and your family life. If your top priority right now is your health or your personal growth, then maybe you need to set some boundaries around your career to ensure that you have time to dedicate towards that. But perhaps the most effective way we have of doing this is to use time blocking Same type of time blocking that we use every day in our career, every day with our calendars, in order to have dedicated time slots to focus in on your work, your family and your personal growth. But also recognizing that whatever your top priority is for right now might require you to make adjustments to the other areas of your life and the amount of time you spend in those other areas in order to be intentional with addressing this priority.
Speaker 1:Another method I like to use in this area is to really identify the handful of areas that I spend my time on and then set either minimums or maximums that I will spend within a given week on that area. So, for instance, in the areas of my life that tend to fall to the wayside as I become more busy, I might set a minimum amount of time I want to spend in those areas each week and make sure that my calendar reflects that, and then, in the areas that I tend to spill over, such as my job or whatever that might be for you I like to set a maximum amount of time that I'm going to spend within that area, and then again, the key is that our calendar reflects our intentions, because what ends up on our calendar is way more likely to get done than if it's just in our head or in our thoughts. So my challenge to you now is to choose one of these three areas, whether that's identifying your single top priority, or creating systems, processes and workflows to allow you to be more efficient, or whether that is really establishing some solid boundaries, in particular, around your time. I would like you to choose one of those areas and just consider how a mild adjustment could potentially impact your current view of work-life balance, and then, to take this one step further. I'm going to ask you what is your current approach to work-life balance? Are you still aiming for perfect balance or are you willing to embrace the idea of intentional imbalance? And, more importantly, are you ready to take action and start living a life that aligns with your current priorities and needs.
Speaker 1:The inspiration for this concept and the inspiration for this episode comes from Gary Keller and his book the One Thing, where he asks his audience this question what is the one thing that truly matters to you? And, as he describes in his book, all priorities cannot matter equally, but when we focus on just one thing, the one thing that truly matters right now, we might feel unbalanced, but it's okay, because it's in this imbalance, this intentional shift of our attention towards what matters most, that we will find higher levels of productivity and happiness, and that our success is not going to be found if we spread ourselves thin in all areas of life, but it can be found with being appropriate in the moments that matter most. And the inspiring question that he challenges each of us to ask ourselves and I'm going to ask you this today what is the one thing that I can do so that, by doing it, everything else will become easier or unnecessary? And by answering that powerful question and aligning it with what is the one thing that we want our lives to be about, more than anything else, it can change our lives forever. As single fathers, we need to stop beating ourselves up for struggling to juggle multiple responsibilities and feeling overwhelmed by that. It's important that we give ourselves grace and remember that we are doing our best and remind ourselves of the successes we are having. Well, that's all for today's episode.
Speaker 1:I hope that you found this different perspective on work-life balance to be helpful. Remember, it is okay to let go of the idea of perfect balance. Instead, focus on being intentional with your time and priorities. Until next time, keep being the great dad that you are. Thanks for tuning in. Take care. Thank you for joining us for the Business of being Dad podcast. If you found value in today's episode, I encourage you to share it with a friend who could benefit from our discussions on fatherhood, leadership and legacy. Together, let's build a community of like-minded men who embrace ownership, commit to growth and make an impact. And now, before we go, remember greatness is within your reach, so stay strong, stay focused and create your legacy. I'm Rob Brody and you've been listening to the Business of being Dad, where fatherhood meets success. See you in the next episode.
