#045: Single Dads: Business Skills for Parenting Success

In this episode Rob Rohde shares his journey of integrating business principles into single fatherhood, offering practical insights for transforming family life.

Overview:
Rob delves into the genesis of the Business of Being Dad Framework, revealing how personal challenges as a single father led to the adaptation of business strategies for parenting success.

Key Highlights:

• Personal Reflection: Rob recounts a pivotal moment in his single fatherhood journey, highlighting the emotional turmoil and realization that personal growth was essential for improving his relationship with his children.
• Framework Genesis: Inspired by leadership principles, Rob discusses the birth of the Business of Being Dad Framework, emphasizing its application to single fatherhood as a means of fostering deeper connections and effective parenting.
• Application of Business Principles: Rob explores the integration of core business concepts such as core values, vision, prioritization, communication, and trust into fatherhood, illustrating how these principles can enhance family dynamics and relationships.
• Implementation Challenge: Rob challenges listeners to identify a professional skill and consider its application to improve their family life, encouraging experimentation and gradual implementation.
• Conclusion: Rob emphasizes the importance of taking ownership, committing to growth, and making a positive impact in fatherhood, offering empowerment and transformation for single fathers seeking to enhance their parenting experience.

What to Expect:
Listeners can expect an engaging narrative of personal growth intertwined with practical strategies for single fathers, providing inspiration and actionable steps to elevate their fathering journey through the lens of business wisdom.

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Transcript

Rob Rohde: 0:02

You are listening to The Business of Being Dad. Get ready as we delve into the world of fatherhood, leadership and legacy. I'm Rob Rohde, your humble host and fellow single father, and I'm so excited you're here to join us. This podcast was intentionally designed for you, men who believe they're destined for greatness, those who never settle for excuses but instead take meaningful action, and individuals who reject the notion of being ordinary. We're here for the ones who understand that being a phenomenal leader goes hand in hand with being an exceptional father. Why? Because we believe in you. We believe you hold the power to shape your identity as a man, a father and a leader. We believe you are the architect of your future and you get to determine the impact and legacy you'll leave behind. So get ready to explore the depths of personal growth, strengthen family bonds and create a legacy that resonates through time. Together, we'll rise, inspire and change. Let's get started Well. Hello and welcome to episode 45 of The Business of Being Dad, the podcast dedicated to helping single fathers lead their families with impact and thrive in every area of their lives. As a single father myself, I understand how difficult life as a single dad can be, and I'm here for that. But I also recognize that at the core of every man is a desire to build deeper connections, pursue something of meaning and a need to feel truly alive. And that's what we're chasing after, and I'm so glad you're here Today. I'm going to take you through the story of how the Business of Being Dad Framework was born, and then I'll share with you how to easily adapt this framework to your specific circumstances in order to get a quick win in any area of your personal life. But specifically, we're going to take a look at your life as a single father your home life, your relationships, your parenting, whatever area you want to focus on. This episode will help you get there, and here's the kicker we will use the skills you already have in order to get it done. Does that sound good to you? If so, stick around as we jump into this conversation. So, are you ready? Let's go.

Rob Rohde: 2:28

I remember how difficult it was for me when I first became a single father, and there was this one day in particular that I often think back to. There was this moment where I was sitting in my car, driving over to pick up my daughters for their parenting time with me, as so many thoughts were racing through my head. My relationships with my older daughters had been struggling. I was working a ton, I was exhausted, I missed some really important events in the girls' lives and they blamed me for the divorce. The truth is, they had a right to be mad at me. I made mistakes a lot of them and some of my decisions hurt the girls, and they were teenagers. They had their own life. I knew things weren't perfect, but I was genuinely trying.

Rob Rohde: 3:14

But as I pulled into the driveway on this particular day, I remember feeling optimistic and excited to see my girls. This time it was going to be different. This time I will be more patient. This time I will focus completely on them. This time I will just listen and not try to fix everything. And then, in a moment, my thoughts are interrupted as my ex-wife walks towards the car. She's alone. She tells me that my oldest daughters aren't coming. They're upset, they don't want to come over to my house, and I am immediately filled with both shock and anger. My own daughters don't want to see me.

Rob Rohde: 3:56

I felt like a complete failure and as I drove away, feeling completely defeated, more thoughts started racing through my head. Why is all of this happening to me? What has the girl's mom been saying about me. I remember sitting in this place of blame, blaming my ex-wife for poisoning the kids' minds, blaming my job for the long hours I was forced to work, and I was blaming my kids even for not appreciating everything I've done for them. And over the next couple of months, after sitting in this place of blame, I began to realize something I can't control what happens to me. I can't control what others do. I can only control my actions and how I choose to respond. I know that sounds extremely basic, but there are times in our lives, times when things feel like totally out of control, when it's the most basic, simple idea that can make a big difference in our life. And I'd like to say that everything just changed at once and I stopped blaming everyone else for where I was at. But that wouldn't be true. It took me so much longer than I'd really like to admit.

Rob Rohde: 5:04

Meanwhile, my relationship with my older daughters was still struggling, but I did keep reaching out to them and I tried to focus on the things I could control. And at least I did stop blaming them. And I kind of sat in this place until one afternoon as I was alone in my room listening to a leadership podcast, I heard this simple phrase that changed my life forever. The phrase was how has your leadership contributed to this result? And those words hit me. I turned towards the mirror and looked at myself how has your leadership contributed to this result? And I immediately thought back to my daughters.

Rob Rohde: 5:42

How has your parenting led to this result is what I started thinking, and I didn't like the person that was staring back at me. I didn't like the person I had become. I knew I needed to make a change and I knew it needed to be a big change. I knew I needed to be a different man, moving forward, because that's what my girls needed. And those words became so powerful because, as I heard them and as I allowed them to soak in, I went from feeling like a victim, where everything was happening to me, to becoming empowered, where I had the ability to shape my destiny and my path moving forward. I had the ability to choose the direction I was going to go, and so I began learning everything I could possibly learn about parenting and leadership, and productivity and finances. I listened to podcasts, I read books, I went back to school, even to get my master's degree in leadership and I learned about raising teens and raising daughters.

Rob Rohde: 6:44

Because I was all in, I wanted to learn everything I could possibly learn and as I continued to focus on improving myself and take responsibility for my mistakes, I decided to kind of experiment with some of the things that I learned. I tried to apply leadership principles to my family life and I started with some really basic things like time management hacks, and then, as I slowly kind of introduced these into my daily life, I started going to some more kind of advanced ideas or some more sophisticated leadership ideas and incorporated them into my approach as a parent. And what began is just a simple experiment soon turned into this completely new way of doing life, and the thing is it felt almost effortless, as if I was like cheating, by taking these principles that I already knew and applying them in my personal life, but the results were incredible. Over time I realized that I was leading my home much like I would lead a department or a team, and it was incredibly effective. As I continue to embrace this approach, I'll say, and I continue to incorporate these leadership ideas and these business practices into my daily life, I noticed myself going from working all the time and missing important events with my kids to always having a method for prioritizing my time with my family. I went from feeling guilty while I was at work to being focused and more productive because I knew that I was putting in the time in my own life. And I went from having a bad relationship with my daughters to beginning to mend and beginning to feel more connected with them. And I also went really from this mindset of feeling like a failure as a father to becoming proud and confident in my ability and, over time, without even realizing it, that's how the Business of Being Dad was born, and it's not just about parenting, it's about leadership, it's about personal growth and it's really about building our legacy as fathers, as single fathers. It's as simple as applying proven leadership and business principles to the most important job in our life being a father. Okay, cool, so that's what the business of being dad is. But what does all that mean? How can we take this? How can we apply this methodology to our everyday lives? How can we integrate these common business principles into the worlds of parenting and relationships? Well, let's talk about that.

Rob Rohde: 9:20

In business, we know how important it is to identify our core values, how important it is to establish a culture within our team or our department or our organization. Well, the same applies to our families. In business, it's important to create a vision. It's important to set clear goals, to establish priorities, so that we have a means for guiding our actions in our decision-making. Well again, this also is extremely important in our families. Prioritization and time management techniques are important in business, but can also be used in fatherhood. By learning to effectively manage our time and prioritize our responsibilities, we can make sure that we're making the most of all of our resources, that we're investing them in the right places and we're investing them where they matter most for us.

Rob Rohde: 10:09

Communication, networking, conflict resolution these are all extremely important components of the Business, of Being Dad methodology, just as we would in business building strong relationships with our children, our partners, our support networks. This requires us to communicate effectively and to have the ability to resolve conflicts in a respectful and constructive manner. Let's talk about engagement, because we all know that building engagement within our companies is extremely important. Our employees need to know that they have a voice. They want to feel like they are heard, like they are valued, that they are respected. It's also important to establish trust. That's a key aspect of building a strong culture within your company as well. Well, all of those things are equally as important within our families. Our kids need to be engaged, we need to look for opportunities to include them in our decision making. We need to look for ways of giving them a voice, of making sure that they feel heard, that they feel valued, that they feel respected and, of course, trust is the foundation of all strong relationships. So, as fathers, it is so important that our children trust us to lead them, to support them and to guide them. So, whether it's identifying core values or establishing a culture, creating a vision, prioritizing and managing time or communicating effectively, networking, resolving conflicts or even building engagement or establishing trust, each of those skills can be applied to every aspect of our lives as fathers.

Rob Rohde: 11:47

So how can you apply these principles in your life? How can you get started? Well, personally, I like to live my life by the adage whenever possible, make it simple. So, with that in mind, here's my challenge to you. I would like you to start by identifying a skill or a tool that you already use and that you have already mastered in your career. It could be something as simple as effective time management, clear communication skills or certain problem solving techniques, and then I'd like you to take a moment to reflect on how you can implement that skill or that tool in your home life. Consider what's most important to you right now. Maybe it's your relationships with your kids, maybe it's organizing your schedule, maybe it's your household dynamics. Whatever it is that's most pressing or most important to you right now, I'd like you to think about how leveraging your unique career expertise could improve this area of your family life. And then, once you've identified a specific skill or tool to focus on, start small. Choose one aspect of your family life where you think this skill or tool can make a positive impact. Whatever that might be, try it out. Do as I did and treat it like an experiment, where you commit to giving it a shot and just see what happens. But I'd like you to take that first step towards integrating your professional expertise into your personal life. Remember, being a father is a marathon, not a sprint. So as you begin this journey of applying business principles to fatherhood, I want you to allow yourself some grace and patience. Again, start simple, experiment and be open to learning and adapting along the way. If you commit to being dedicated and persistent, you will find that even these smallest little changes can lead to significant improvements in your life. So are you ready to take on this challenge?

Rob Rohde: 13:46

As we wrap this up, let's reflect back to how we started, with the story of how everything changed for my family. It all began with me taking ownership of my life, taking responsibility for where I was at, what had happened, my role in it and what I needed to do differently. And that's where it begins for you, too. I then focused on my growth. I invested in myself, on becoming a better father, a better man and a better leader, and that's when my progress really started to take off. Then, finally, I applied what I had learned. I took action in order to make an impact in my life and the lives of my kids and everyone around me. So, again, take ownership, commit to growth, make an impact. Those were the core values I adopted many, many years ago, and it's the same path I followed today, the same path that I follow in order to live a life of meaning, in order to build deeper connection and feel alive in my journey as a father. You see how all this fits together. It might not be easy, but it is, in fact, simple, especially with some guidance and support along the way.

Rob Rohde: 15:01

I want to thank you, men, for joining me in this episode. I really enjoyed this conversation. Remember, fatherhood isn't just a job. It's a business, the business of being dad. Until next time, take care and keep striving to be the best father you can be. Bye, men. Thank you for joining us for The Business of Being Dad podcast. If you found value in today's episode, I encourage you to share it with a friend who could benefit from our discussions on fatherhood, leadership and legacy. Together, let's build a community of like-minded men who embrace ownership, commit to growth and make an impact. And now, before we go, remember greatness is within your reach, so stay strong, stay focused and create your legacy. I'm Rob Rohde and you've been listening to The Business of Being Dad, where fatherhood meets success. See you in the next episode.